Summary – Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz return to the ‘Mummy’ franchise in 2025, promising dust, curses, and more cringe-worthy fun than ever.,
Article –
In a move that surprised literally no one except maybe their plants, the studio has officially secured Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz to reprise their iconic roles in the latest chapter of the ‘Mummy’ franchise, set to unleash its dusty horrors and terrible puns in 2025. Yes, that’s right: the movies that made us question our interest in archaeology are back, armed with tombs, curses, and more awkward hand-holding than a middle school dance.
The Real Scoop (Seriously)
Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, who last summoned the undead with surprisingly good chemistry back in the early 2000s, will reprise their roles for the newest ‘Mummy’ adventure, scheduled for release in 2025. The studio announced the deal quietly, probably to avoid scaring Percy Jackson fans. The film promises to blend horror, comedy, and adventure with the delicate balance of a sarcophagus lid and a stack of cursed Egyptian relics.
Internet Meltdown & Meme-Quake
Social media exploded faster than a cursed amulet when the news broke. Nearly 98% of fans surveyed (with a sample size of three, but who’s counting?) responded with a mix of “Finally!” and “Did we summon them with a Ouija board?” The hashtag #BringBackTheMummy trended briefly before being overtaken by #WhereIsTheSnailCut, a fan petition demanding Brendan Fraser’s hair be styled exclusively in slow-motion snail waves for authenticity.
“I’ve been waiting for this since dial-up internet was a thing,” whispered a lighting assistant’s cousin’s barber, who definitely knows exactly what he’s talking about.
Conspiracy Corner
Rumors swirl that the studio decided to resurrect the franchise after discovering Fraser’s increasingly nostalgic acceptance speeches and Weisz’s secret catalog of ancient Egyptian hieroglyph tattoos. Some insiders (or so claims an anonymous screenwriter’s goldfish) speculate the new movie may reveal an even deeper shared universe connecting every summer blockbuster with ancient curses and over-the-top CGI scarabs.
If Producers Went Full Banana
Sources (possibly Brendan’s stunt double’s hairdresser) claim the script includes:
- a giant inflatable pharaoh
- a soundtrack featuring lullabies from actual mummies, recorded in a secret tomb
- a scene where Brendan Fraser rides a flying carpet powered entirely by sarcastic one-liners
- Rachel Weisz battles a sentient sarcophagus that judges fashion choices
- cameos from at least two real archaeologists arguing about preserving historical accuracy while the script team ignores their calls
Roll Credits… Or Do They?
The movie’s director teased that the franchise may continue indefinitely, with talk of crossovers including:
- ‘The Mummy vs. Indiana Jones’s Lost Socks’
- a spin-off featuring the sidekick scarab beetle’s rise to power
“This franchise is like a hydra with bandages; cut off one sequel and two more will rise,” an unnamed popcorn vendor rumored. Reporting live from the ancient deserts of Hollywood, FAKY SHAKY News promises to keep live-tweeting this chaos so you don’t have to.
Stay tuned to FAKY SHAKY News for more industry chuckles!
About The Author
